The Walking Dead: Merle Dixon
by Shayli
Summary: Wonder what happened to Merle in Atlanta? Did he make it out alive? Read here to find out!
1. Dead Man

"Oh Lord, oh God he will rot in hell that nigger. Those damn blacks. They ain't never gave a shit about nobody but themselves. Oh Lord I can't die here like this." Merle Dixon let out a cry of anger and frustration so loud it echoed off the office building a block away. At least the echoes would keep the walkers from knowing which direction the cry came from. But that didn't matter now. Merle was practically a dead man sitting handcuffed to a steel pipe on top of a four-story building. He knew the chain holding the door closed, the only thing between him and the walkers, wouldn't hold up more than five minutes.

He glanced over to the door only to confirm what he already knew; he was a dead man. The bloodied, bony arms of what appeared to be at least ten walkers reached out of the door and pulled on the chain. He knew they were there before he saw them because he could hear their grunts and groans. Worst of all, he could smell them, a stench that would have made him vomit just a couple weeks ago.

The stream of events that had occurred just minutes before he had been left to die happened so quick Merle's simple, drugged-up brain hardly knew what to make of it. He knew it was the drugs; it had to be the drugs. In the old world Merle had definitely done his fair share of drugs, but when this disease came there was hardly a second when he wasn't high. "I'll kill you myself nigger if I ever get my hands on you, you son-of-a-bitch, good-for-nothing piece of-" The hit of coke he had taken before this all happened took effect and Merle fell into a cocaine daze, rocking back and forth, more or less unconscious.

He had been handcuffed to the pipe by Rick Grimes, a sheriff in the old world, who had ventured into Atlanta looking for a safe haven, hoping his family might be there. Instead of finding a safe haven, he walked right into the death trap Atlanta had become in the past couple weeks and found himself surrounded by thousands of walkers. Merle's group watched him as he scrambled around looking for somewhere to hide. Luckily the walkers were preoccupied with Rick's horse and he managed to climb inside an overrun military tank. But the walkers were relentless. They would wait days for him to come out.

Merle didn't want to save him but the others in his group were more humane, especially Glenn. Anyways, they managed to save Rick and bring him back to their hideout, a deserted department store building. When they saved Rick, the walkers followed them to the building. Merle was furious. He took his shotgun on the roof and unloaded a round on the walkers down below. T-Dog, a friendly black man, stepped in to tell Merle to stop. But no one tells Merle what to do. Next thing T-Dog knew, he was staring into the barrel of Merle's shotgun. That's when Rick stepped in.

After Merle had been taken care of, Rick devised an escape plan where he and Glenn would get to the nearest truck while the group waited. Then they would drive back around to pick the rest of the group up. Before he left, Rick gave T-Dog the key to Merle's handcuffs. T-Dog was supposed to unlock Merle when Rick and Glenn were on their way back so they all could get in the truck and speed away, but in a panic, T-Dog dropped the handcuff key down the drain. He had no other option but to leave Merle behind. And so he hurried away clumsily, tripping over a box of tools, leaving Merle to die.

Merle snapped out of the daze and reality hit. He was suddenly more coherent than he normally was sober. He looked around. He could slide himself down the pipe about four feet, which was still a good reach away from the toolbox T-Dog knocked over. Merle ripped off his belt with his free hand and casted the buckle side over to a rusted saw. He hit it on the first try and slowly pulled the saw closer and closer to him. When the saw was in reach, he picked it up and examined it. It definitely would be useless on the metal handcuffs. He had two options: saw off his own hand or die, and he sure as hell wasn't ready to die.


	2. Escape

The first couple saws weren't too bad. He had been cut deeply before and the coke definitely helped. He kept sawing, gritting his teeth, trying not to scream. But, he couldn't help it much longer. He had come to the main nerves. The pain was nothing like he had ever felt before. His eyes rolled back in his head and he began to cry for the first time in thirty-five years. The last time he cried was when his daddy walked out on his mom, him, and his little brother Daryl. Merle was just eight years old. He didn't love anyone more than his daddy and after that he promised himself he would never cry again. He never did, until now.

Not only was the pain unbearable, blood was spewing everywhere. The walkers' moans got louder. He knew they could smell the blood and they were hungry. He picked the saw back up, shut his eyes tight, and continued to saw. After two more saws he hit the bone, which wasn't as bad. Finally, he was done. He gazed for a few seconds in disbelief at his hand lying on the ground. At that moment, the chain holding the door shut snapped and the walkers busted out onto the roof. Merle headed to the fire escape, leaving his detached hand basking in the sun.

He didn't have a plan, but he knew what was coming. His blood-gushing arm would attract walkers as soon as his feet touched the ground. Even if the walkers didn't get him, he had already lost too much blood and it wasn't showing signs of slowing up. He started to regret his decision to cut his hand off. Maybe death would have been better than living in this hellhole that used to be Earth. But something inside Merle yearned for life although he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was his instinct to take care of Daryl. Ever since their daddy left, Merle made sure to take care of hi,. Their mom had to work two jobs just to put food on the table and a roof over their heads. She left before seven and wasn't back until ten at night. At eight years old Merle was like a father to three-year-old Daryl who hadn't the faintest memories of their daddy.

When Merle looked down he could see the walkers swarming around the bottom of the fire escape. He wasn't sure if they were able to climb ladders but he wasn't about to wait and find out. With his good hand, his only hand, he punched the glass out of a second story window and ducked in. He knew the bottom floor of the building was a department store, but he hadn't ventured up to the second floor before. He was relieved to find himself inside a restaurant kitchen. Scanning the room for walkers, Merle's eyes fell upon the gas stove and he knew what he had to do. He hoped the nerves in his arm had been damaged so much that he wouldn't feel it. Regardless, he had come this far; he wasn't about to wave the white flag now.


	3. A Night in the City

The stove clicked three times before the blue flames popped up. Merle turned the dial as far as it would go and stuck his bleeding arm into the flames before he had time to second-guess himself. It didn't hurt as bad as he had expected. He had definitely been through worse. He cauterized his stump for about ten seconds before he felt content that he had stopped the bleeding. Though it wasn't a pretty thing to look at, Merle smiled when he took his stump out of the flames. "Not too bad for a hick," he murmured and headed for the door.

Now that he didn't have to worry about bleeding to death, Merle only had to find a way to get out of the city. He needed a car, which wasn't a problem; there were more than enough abandoned cars on the roads. Getting to the car was the hard part. The restaurant on the second story was a fancy one. Merle's stomach rumbled reminding him that he hadn't eaten in two days. He looked out the window, which gave him a panoramic view of the city. The tint of orange in the sky told him the sun would be down in less than an hour. He decided he would have to spend the night in the city and try and sneak his way out in the morning.

Merle returned to the kitchen to see if the walkers had made any progress on the fire escape. He stuck his head out the window and found about a hundred walkers all waiting at the bottom of the fire escape with their hands in the air. "Those dumb sons-of-bitches," he said to himself. He checked the walkers on the roof and was happy to find they couldn't climb down either. The walkers were only dangerous in numbers. Alone, they were easier to kill than a deer in headlights. All they did was run, limp, and crawl towards anything living and try to eat it. They weren't fast or strong, and they definitely weren't smart.

Without any immediate threat, Merle decided to search the kitchen for anything edible, but apparently someone had already beat him to it. The place had been completely ransacked. Every cupboard he came to was completely empty. Dejected, Merle gave the last cupboard, a tiny one way up in the corner, a shot. Merle jumped out of the way as a man's head came rolling onto the floor. As if that wasn't freaky enough, the head still seemed to be "alive."

Walkers didn't stop going until their brain was damaged. Apparently this walker had been decapitated and his unharmed head stored in the cupboard. Maybe somebody thought it was funny. It definitely gave Merle a chuckle. He picked it up by the hair and it chomped its jaws at him. Without a body all it could do was open and close its mouth; it was harmless. In an Australian accent Merle joked aloud, "I'm Steve Irwin crocodile hunter and this here's a walker's head, crikey!" Merle hadn't laughed for weeks. He decided to keep it.

That night, he barricaded all the doors in the dining room with whatever he could find. When he was satisfied that he would be safe for the night, he broke into the supply that had been left in the cupboard with the walker head. Whoever had ransacked the place before him apparently hadn't wanted to mess with that cupboard; he could thank his little friend for that. Merle was more exhausted than he thought. He fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the floor.

Merle slept longer than he would have liked. He wanted to get out of this hellhole of a city as soon as the sun came up. "Shit, it's time to get on the road," Merle said to his little friend who hadn't stopped chomping his jaws all night long. He opened the door to the kitchen just enough to see that the walkers still hadn't made their way up or down the fire escape. He didn't even have to look to know that they were still waiting for him to come down. He gulped down at least a half gallon of water from the sink and then returned to the dining room. He used a tablecloth to make a knapsack and in it he threw the walker head, a couple steak knifes from the kitchen, a wrench he got from the toolbox, and two cans of beans that he had left over.

Merle knew the building had three fire escapes: one on each side and one in the back. He only had a choice between the fire escape in the back and the one on the eastern side because he knew the other one was swarmed by walkers waiting for him to come down. Merle decided to go with the one on the eastern side because he figured that the group escaped via the back alley and walkers had probably followed them there. He hadn't really thought about what he would do once he got on the street. Making a run for the closest car was just about the only option he had, but it definitely was not good enough when he couldn't go two steps without bumping into a walker. He needed a distraction of some sort, some loud noise that would attract all the walkers in his path. He stood for a moment looking out one of the huge panoramic windows at the front of the building when he saw them and he knew he could make it out of the city alive.


	4. A Little Bit of Luck

"Those damn bastards leaving me to die then they can't deal with themselves and so they got to come back and save me. Too late, I can save my own sorry ass." Deep down Merle knew he was happy they came back looking for him but it was not in his nature to forgive. When he saw Rick, Glenn, T-Dog, and his brother making their way down the street silently taking out all the walkers in their path, he made the decision he would run for it once they discovered he wasn't where they left him. He didn't think they would search the building for him but just in case, he decided to hide. He made his way over to the room across the hall from the restaurant. It was an office of some sort. Merle immediately heard some faint scuffling and knew he wasn't alone. He looked around and spotted two walkers behind a bunch of very large filing cabinets.

Merle quietly pulled his wrench out and tiptoed over to the walkers, set his knapsack down, and skillfully bashed the brains of both walkers single-handedly, literally. He heard more footsteps approaching the office door closest to him, but they were quicker than walker footsteps. He knew it was the guys. He quickly picked up his knapsack and dove into a utility closet as his brother Daryl opened the door. Merle left the closet door cracked enough so that he could see and hear them.

"Didn't have trouble taking out these two sons-of-bitches," Daryl said as he came upon the two walkers Merle just killed.

"One-handed, toughest ass-hole I ever met, my brother. Feed him a hammer and crap out the nails."

Daryl reloaded his crossbow. Merle wanted to open the closet door so badly and tell his brother he was fine, but a pang of anger hit him. Why did is brother still trust these guys after they left him to die? If someone had left Daryl to die, there ain't no way in hell those people would live to see another day if Merle had a choice.

Merle flashed back to the last memory he had of his dad with a duffel bag in each arm and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, walking out the front door, as his mother sobbed in the kitchen. He felt the same pain he felt then as he looked at his little brother, abandonment. Merle had been like a father to his baby brother. He would have died for Daryl, and now here Daryl was parading around Atlanta with the same people that left him to die. Some brother. Merle decided not to open the door, but he made sure to take one last hard look at his kin.

"Any man can pass out from blood loss, no matter how tough he is," Rick chimed in as the four mean headed out towards the kitchen.

As soon as they left the office, Merle ran the opposite direction towards the eastern fire escape. He knew the guys must have come in the building through the front entrance. They had an advantage though, eight hands to take out walkers. He only had one. When he got to the fire escape, he waited. He knew where they were going next and he knew that would be his chance to make a run for it.

He waited about ten minutes before he saw Glenn making his way towards the place where Rick had first gotten swarmed by walkers. He was right; they were trying to get the bag of guns Rick had dropped when he first came into the city. "Pricks, they only came back here for the guns and decided just to check if I was here still. Damn bastards," he said to himself as he made his way down the ladder. It worried him that they only sent Glenn to get the guns. It wasn't a big enough distraction. Suddenly, he got a lucky break.

"Ayudame! Ayudame!" An unfamiliar voice screamed as all the walkers took off towards the western fire escape.

Merle had his chance and he ran for it. The screaming continued from the western escape. Merle looked back and saw Rick and T-Dog sprinting toward the shouts at the same time a low-riding car sped up, pulled Daryl off a young Mexican kid, and sped away. This was the first time in a couple of weeks he had seen other survivors, well except for Rick. There were people still out there, safe somewhere. He knew it.

Merle had hoped for a distraction but he had never expected it would go this well. There was hardly a walker in his path as he sprinted towards the freeway. He must have run about a mile before he saw the truck the group had used to escape the day before parked by the railroad. He knew they had driven it here and then walked into the city. Merle hopped in and wasn't surprised to find the keys were still in the ignition. Most people weren't worried about auto theft nowadays. He started the truck and revved the engine.

"Fuck you Atlanta," he shouted as he gunned the gas, "Next time, why don't you try some southern hospitality!"

Merle made himself laugh sometimes.


	5. On the Road

Merle loved the freedom of being able to drive on the open road as fast as he wanted. All he needed was his Harley. Today was Sunday, not that the days of the week really mattered anymore, but Merle had been keeping track. Before the disease broke out, Daryl and Merle used to ride their Harley's from their house in Claxton to Savannah every Sunday during summer. It was about an hour ride one-way. Thinking about the wind rushing against his body keeping him cool from the beating sun and the melodic hum of his precious Harley, Merle longed for his old life. He longed to see his baby brother, to be back on the porch at home sipping on a couple of cold ones talking about things that didn't matter.

He knew the moment would come when he would hate himself for walking away from Daryl. He knew his brother would know he got out of Atlanta just fine and that Merle knew where the group's camp was set up. Daryl would know he walked away from him, just like their daddy did thirty-five years ago. He wanted more than anything to go back to the camp and surprise his brother, to show him he would never abandon him like their daddy did. Merle slammed on the brakes so hard you would have thought he had just come upon L.A. rush hour traffic. He had made up his mind; he was going back to the camp.

Merle had already driven about two hours in the opposite direction of the camp, which was then another twenty minutes passed the city. The sun was just beginning to set. He knew he would get back a while after the guys, assuming they had found a car to get them back. He knew they would. Daryl could hot wire a car faster than anyone he knew, something that had gotten him in quite a bit of trouble when he was younger.

Merle turned onto the road that led up to the camp about an hour or so after sunset. They had set up camp on a little plateau that overlooked the city, but was far enough away from the herds of walkers that inhabited it. So far, no strays had wandered over to the camp, but the group knew it was coming. They planned to leave their camp after the other part of the group had returned from the city. Merle was just about a quarter mile a way when he heard gunshots, not just a couple, but tons of them. He knew this could only mean one thing; walkers had found the camp. Judging by the amount of gunshots, he knew there weren't just a few walkers, but a whole herd.

The gunshots stopped and he knew the guys had taken care of the walkers. When he came up to the last bend in the road before the camp, he decided he would get out and go by foot. There was a good chance there were more walkers around the camp and he didn't want the noise of the car to draw them in. He stopped the car, got out quietly, and walked towards the camp. It was so dark he could hardly see the woods around him. All he could see was the dim light from the camp. That's when he heard the cries. Somebody had been bit; he just wasn't sure who.

"It's your goddamn fault Rick," Merle heard Shane's voice. "If you hadn't taken three of our guys and gone back there to try and save that sorry son-of-a-bitch, no one would be dead right now."

Merle could see the group now. He saw Andrea curled over her sister's body, weeping. He saw his brother walking around to the dead walkers' bodies pulling out his arrows while Rick and Shane bickered. He figured the guys had only just gotten back in the middle of the attack.

"You shoulda gone back there yourself if you couldn't deal with the guilt of leaving the asshole to die. We didn't need him here, Rick. I shoulda killed him myself weeks ago. But you just had to show up back from the dead and screw everything up. Even his own brother didn't want to go back for him. Doesn't that tell you something?"

Merle looked at his brother, waiting for some kind of refutation, but Daryl just carried on collecting his arrows. A pain hit Merle so hard he could hardly stand any longer. He would have never thought his brother would ever give up or turn his back on him, but Daryl had wanted him dead. His brother looked around to see if he had any other arrows lying around. Scanning from left to right, his head froze when his eyes met Merle's. Merle knew he saw him.


	6. One Place Left to Go

When the disease first hit a few weeks ago, Merle and Daryl were at their house in Claxton, about a three and a half hour drive from Atlanta. The brothers lived together in a small but cozy two-bedroom house they rented for two-fifty a month. Their mama, who was in her seventies, had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and had lived at the Country Oaks Retirement home in Claxton for the past four years. Merle visited her at least three times a week and, despite her loss of memory, managed to keep her familiar with himself.

Daryl's relationship with his mom wasn't so strong. After their daddy left, their mama had to work long hours. When the stress of single motherhood became too hard for her to bear, all she wanted to do when she got home from work was drown her sorrows with a bottle. Mrs. Dixon became an alcoholic and soon she lost any connection she had with the boys. When the boys' grandma saw how bad the situation had gotten, she took the boys in and they lived with her until they were old enough to move out on their own. Daryl never forgave his mama. Merle, however, knew the pain his mama had felt when their daddy left. He understood why she was all torn up inside because he felt the same way.

The boys' grandma had long since passed when the disease broke out but their mama was still in the retirement home. When Claxton got hit, the boys knew they had to get out of town as soon as possible. Merle wanted to stop at the retirement home on the way out of town to pick up their mama but Daryl did not want to go. He said she was practically already dead, not worth risking it. But Merle wouldn't leave her and went to the retirement home on his own.

When he pulled up, the home was surrounded by walkers. Policemen, swat units, and military soldiers were shooting pretty much everyone in sight, even the living. Merle pulled up to the parking lot entrance where a man in a full decontamination suit holding a gun stopped him.

"Stop, you can't get in here!" The man's voice was muffled by his bubble helmet.

"Get outta my way jackass, my mama is in there," Merle shouted out the window.

"If you don't turn around I will shoot," the man replied.

"If you don't get out my fucking way, I will run your ass over," Merle responded harshly.

The man aimed his gun straight for Merle's head and was just about to shoot when a walker came from behind and bit right through his suit. The bubble helmet didn't do too much to muffle the man's dying screams. Merle drove forward taking out the walker and the man. It was best to put him out of his misery.

Merle pulled up to the entrance of the building, grabbed his pistol off the front seat, and headed in. Inside the building was a scene no less chaotic than the scene he had just experienced outside. There were walkers everywhere and the elderly were being evacuated out the back door onto activity buses.

"Mama! Mama!" He shouted, but couldn't find her anywhere.

He ran to her room only to find it empty. Lying on his mama's bed was a picture. It was a picture of him and Daryl when they were boys playing in the front yard. His mama knew Merle would come for her. She was pretty keen for a woman in the late phases of Alzheimer's.

The door to the room creaked open and Merle's head swiveled around. He and his mama's nurse, Lindsey, had known each other fairly well, but now she was hardly recognizable. She had been bit, Merle could see, in the neck. Her face was also bloodied; he assumed she had just had a nice meal. Merle used to have a huge crush on Lindsey. She was a pretty woman in her early thirties. Now, he could hardly stand looking at her. As she limped towards him Merle raised his pistol and shot her in the head, picked up the photo, ran out to his car, and sped back home. He never found his mama, but he assumed the buses would be heading towards Atlanta where the government had supposedly set up a safe haven where every entrance to the city was monitored by the most highly trained military personnel. That's what brought Merle and Daryl to Atlanta. Some safe haven that was.

As soon as their eyes met, Merle turned on his heel and sprinted back to the truck. The pain he felt now was ten times worse than the pain he had experienced the previous day. He never wanted to see his brother again. He started the engine and sped away from the camp, not stopping to look back. He only had one place left to go: home.


	7. Silence is Deafening

The Drive back to Claxton wouldn't be easy. His tank was almost empty and he was tired and hungry. Worst of all he was lonely. He longed for someone to talk to more than anything. The person didn't have to talk back, just listen. Merle had almost forgotten about his little friend he had picked up in Atlanta. He knew the idea was stupid but the loneliness was eating at him. He stopped the truck and pulled his makeshift knapsack into the front. He took out his friend who was still chomping away and set him face up in the front seat. He started driving again.

"Hey bud, guess it's just you and me now," Merle began.

"I bet you were lonely stuck up there in that cupboard, huh? I was stuck too, handcuffed by my own group, ya know. That's why I only have one hand." Merle suddenly began to feel bad, "Oh well, I mean it's just a hand, I can live without it. It's not like I lost my whole body. That must really suck."

Feeling slightly ridiculous, Merle drove in silence for about five minutes before the loneliness began to eat at him again.

"Ya know, when I was a boy my daddy used to take me fishing at a little lake about ten minutes from my house in Claxton. We always walked by this log cabin that was all alone in the woods. I never saw anyone living there, but I'm sure somebody did. I'd like to go back, maybe catch a couple fish, and see if anyone is still around. I always wanted to live in that house when I was little. Maybe if it's empty we can spend a few days there. That would be nice wouldn't it?"

Merle almost forgot that his friend couldn't respond and after a couple of seconds he started again, "You know, if I woulda known the world was gonna go to shit like this I woulda done some things differently, probably been nicer, gotten married, and had some kids ya know? I woulda liked to take my son fishing at that lake."

It was nice to hear his own voice even if no one was responding. Merle liked his little friend; he could tell him whatever he wanted and know his secrets would never be shared. He didn't have to put on his normal tough-guy façade he had developed the day his daddy left. For a moment Merle felt a glimmer of happiness. He decided to name his friend Ears. He knew it was a ridiculous name, but he had taken how nice it was to have a pair of ears around to hear what he was saying for granted.

Just about when it was time for him to get some gas, Merle came across some deserted cars on the highway. He stopped next to a Chevy Suburban. He knew there would be a siphoning tube in the back of his truck. The guys wouldn't have gone anywhere without one. As he walked up to the car to siphon the gas into some empty tanks the guys had also left, he saw a car seat in the back and a body in the driver's seat. As he looked closer, he saw it was a woman in the front keeled over a baby. Both had been shot in the head. Merle wondered why they looked like they had died healthy, not yet walkers. Who would kill a mother and her innocent child? Then he saw the silver handgun lying on the floor next to them and he knew what had happened. He didn't blame them; he had felt like killing himself sometimes too. Merle took back what he said about wishing he had kids.

Luckily, he had picked the right car. He got about twenty gallons of gas, enough to get him to Claxton. Merle filled up his tank and was on his way again. He had only been driving about five minutes when he realized he could hardly hold his eyes open anymore and he still had about two hours to go. He knew talking would be the only way to keep him awake.

"You know what I miss the most these days?" Merle paused. "Come on, take a guess. Nothing? All right I'll just tell you. It's music. I wish I could just turn on the radio but that don't even work anymore. "

Merle wished he had thought to bring some CDs along with him from home. He searched around the truck for a CD and found one in the glove compartment.

"Lady Gaga? Man, Ears, of all the CDs in the whole world it had to be some stupid teenager's music."

He decided to pop it in the CD player anyway. He knew who Lady Gaga was but he had never listened to any of her songs. When he pulled up to his house in Claxton two hours later, "Bad Romance" was his new favorite song.


	8. Home Sweet Home

There were only a few stray walkers roaming his street, nothing like Atlanta. Just to be safe, Merle parked about a block away from his house and went by foot so his truck wouldn't attract any walkers to the house. He put Ears back in his knapsack and headed toward his house. The buzz of the Cicadas on the warm summer's night brought back memories of him and Daryl playing outside after sunset when they were kids. Merle immediately shut those memories out as soon as they popped into his mind. He didn't want to think about his brother.

Merle was happy to find his house looked pretty much the same as he had left it, on the outside at least. He was glad he didn't drive up to the house because there was a pack of about ten walkers feeding on something just across the street. Merle quickly walked up to the front door and used the extra key under the mat to unlock it. He knew there probably weren't any walkers in the house because the front door was still locked and no windows seemed to be opened or broken, but he still made sure to check every inch of the house before he let his guard down. The lights in the house didn't work so he lit a couple lamps and carried around a flashlight. Once he was certain that he and Ears were alone he climbed into his bed and went to sleep.

When he awoke the next morning, the clock on his wall read 11:30 and his stomach rumbled. He wondered what kind of food they had left behind that would still be good. He opened the blinds in his room and looked out the window. There were no walkers around as far as he could see. Merle scavenged through the cupboards and came up with a couple cans of beans and fruit, a sealed box of Cheezits, a case of water bottles, and a bag of beef jerky. He wasn't really one to save the best for last; he went straight for the jerky.

Although he felt pretty safe in his house, he knew he wouldn't be able to stay long. He would have to find somewhere he could hunt and fish, like the house in the woods. He decided that's where he would go today to check it out. After he ate, he exchanged his knapsack for a backpack and loaded it with the new stash of food and some water. He grabbed his fishing pole out of the garage as well as the loaded handgun he kept in his bedside drawer that he had left behind. He was about to leave when he heard Ears chomping as he passed by.

"Sorry bud, I didn't mean to leave you behind. Let's go to the lake."

Merle threw him in the backpack and stepped outside, locking the door behind him.

He was amazed how few walkers were around. It made sense though since just about everyone he knew in Claxton packed up and headed for Atlanta when things got bad. He started to think he would have been better off just staying put. Merle didn't see one walker all the way to his truck. It was a relief not to have to constantly run from walkers. As soon as he started the car, he turned the CD player on and skipped to "Bad Romance." It had been stuck in his head all morning.

He pulled up to the trail that led to the lake about fifteen minutes later. It was only about a five-minute walk to the house. He threw his backpack over his shoulder, grabbed his fishing pole under his handless arm, and held his pistol in his hand. He wasn't sure what he would find in the woods. He figured the walkers would like to hunt too and it couldn't hurt to be prepared.

Merle was immediately disheartened when he first saw the house. It had been completely boarded up. He had hoped the residents had packed up and left for Atlanta too, but it looked like they had intended to stay. He decided to knock to see if anyone was home.

"Hello, anyone home? I haven't been bit, just looking for a place to stay."

There was no response. He knocked a couple more times before trying the door. He was surprised to find it unlocked.

"Hello, anyone in here? I'm looking for a place to stay, don't mean no harm."

He walked in no more than three steps when he heard a gun cock behind him and the warm barrel pushed up against his head.


	9. Not Alone

Merle was five when his daddy first took him fishing. He had wanted to go for months and would constantly beg his daddy to take him. Finally, his daddy promised they would go on the morning of his fifth birthday and then have a cookout that night with whatever they caught to celebrate. The morning of his fifth birthday was like Christmas. He woke up at sunrise and ran into his parents' room screaming, "Daddy, Daddy wake up! We have to go catch some fish!" Although he had woken him up, his daddy couldn't help but chuckle at Merle's excitement. An hour later, they were on the road and Merle couldn't have been any happier.

They spent a good three hours at the lake and definitely did not come back empty handed. When they got back to the house, Merle excitedly ran inside to show his mama all the fish they had caught but he found his mama in tears. She tried to hide them and act happy for Merle but even a five-year-old could tell something was wrong. After he showed her the fish, his mom took him to his room for a nap, but Merle snuck out to hear what was going on after she left him.

"How could you do this to me? I just gave birth to your second son and you are going around sleeping with another woman." Merle didn't understand, he knew his daddy always came home to sleep with his mama.

"I told ya I didn't sleep with her, now shut up you bitch." Merle knew that word was a bad one. His mama spanked him every time he told his best friend Charlie to shut up.

"James, I seen the letter she wrote you in the drawer and I ain't stupid. It's clear as day and you still tryin' to say you didn't do it. I'm taking my boys and leaving you here James, ya hear? You ain't never gonna see these boys again and that's your own damn fault going around screwing some other woman. That was your choice."

"Awww come on now honey you know I love ya and you know y'all mean the world to me. Just come here and we'll make this all better. You don't gotta take my boys from me. I promise ya, I ain't never gonna sleep with no other lady again."

"I ain't ever gonna forgive you James but I ain't gonna take my boys away from their daddy. They don't deserve that. I ain't punishing them for your faults. But this here's the last time. If you even think about screwing another lady I'll up and leave and take my boys with me and you won't never see us again. That goes for calling me a bitch too, ya hear?"

"I promise ya honey I won't ever do nothing like this again. I need y'all."

"Well good, now go make yaself useful and skin those fish."

Merle never forgot what he heard that day. He didn't get why his mama thought his daddy was sleeping with another person. He had seen his daddy in bed next to his mama just that morning. Merle even slept with them most nights when he had nightmares and his daddy was in the bed the whole time. He knew his daddy wasn't lying. His mama was just crazy. The only reason his daddy backed down is because his mama said he was going to take him and Daryl away. His daddy loved him too much to let that happen.

"Don't move a muscle or I'll blast your brains out." Merle was surprised to hear such a high-pitched voice. He couldn't tell if it was a girl or a boy who hadn't yet hit puberty.

"Now set your gun down." Merle crouched down, set the gun on the ground, and slid it backwards towards the person to show he meant no harm.

"What do you want?" The person said.

"I don't mean you any harm. I used to come fishing at the lake with my daddy when I was a boy. I live about twenty minutes down the road in Claxton but I ain't got any food left in my house. I remembered passing by this house here every time I came fishing and I thought it was empty. I didn't mean to trespass."

"You been bit?"

"No I ain't ever been bit."

"Then why's your hand gone?"

"I cut that off myself. It's a long story, but I promise you, I ain't been bit."

"Alright fine, get inside before you get us both killed."

Merle hurried inside the house and the person shut the door behind them. Every window and crack in the house had been completely boarded up. Merle couldn't see a thing; it was pitch back. The person struck a match and lit a candle, but Merle still couldn't see the person. He followed the candle into another room and the person shut another door behind them and then switched the lights on.

Merle was astonished. He was staring at the most beautiful girl he had seen in a very long time. He guessed she was around seventeen or eighteen years old. She was tall for a girl and her long golden hair swooped down to her lower back. She was wearing a dirty tank top, oversized cargo pants, and hiking boots. Merle guessed the antique shotgun she held in her right hand wasn't hers, but she wore it well.

"Sorry about that, just wanted to make sure you hadn't been bit. I haven't seen any survivors for a while and was starting to think I was the last person out here. Glad to see I'm not alone. The name's Ari by the way."

"Merle, nice to meet ya."

Merle started to reach out to shake Ari's hand but realized he had raised the wrong arm. He quickly put out his left hand instead.

"Sorry, still getting used to it."

Ari giggled and shook his hand.

"You hungry?" Ari asked. "I just caught a bunch of fish down at the lake. Why don't I start cooking and you can sit down and tell me your story."

Merle sat down and the kitchen table and looked around. He had always wondered what the inside of this house looked like. It was cozy, just like the outside, and it had electricity.

"How do you get electricity?"

"Oh everything here pretty much runs off the water. My daddy was really into energy efficiency and all that stuff and with the river and lake right by it makes things easy. Would you like some water? It's cold."

Merle couldn't pass that up. He hadn't had cold water for weeks. He watched her as she filled a glass with water from a jug in the refrigerator. Ari never moved more than a step away from her shotgun without moving it with her.

"Now, tell me what you are doing here."

Merle told Ari about how he left for Atlanta when things got bad and how he met his group and then was left to die and had to cut his hand off. Ari grimaced at that part so Merle didn't go into too much detail and he never mentioned his brother. He told her how he had passed by this house ever since he was a little boy and how he figured it would be abandoned and that he could live here and hunt and have fresh water.

"You aren't the only one who's come by here looking for a place to stay. Plenty others did too. The only difference is they had all been bit. That's how Daddy and Jess died, had to shoot them myself."

Merle's heart dropped down to his stomach.


	10. Plans

He had heard stories about things like that happening. Fathers having to shoot their own kids after they had been bit, wives killing their husbands. He thought about his family members, Daryl and his mama. He knew he wouldn't have been able to kill them even if they had been bit. As he sat watching Ari cook the fish, he found it hard to imagine her killing anyone. She seemed like such a sweet, innocent girl but Merle could tell she was strong and had been through a lot. She knew how to take care of herself and Merle admired that.

"We were all huddled inside one night about a week after the disease broke out. People were just starting to pack up and head for the city because they didn't have electricity anymore. We were fine here with the river and everything so Daddy told Jess and I that we were staying. Jess was my sister. Daddy forbade us to leave the house and he boarded everything up. We were only allowed to turn the lights on in the kitchen after we shut all doors. That night, we were sitting in the kitchen playing cards, just trying to pass the time, when we heard a knock on the door. I started to get up to see who it was but Daddy stopped me. The knocking continued and soon we heard a little voice weeping and calling for help. After Daddy figured out it was a child, he got up right away and let him in. His name was Eli and he was just eight years old. He had been separated from his family and hadn't eaten for days. We fed him and gave him a bed to sleep in for the night. Before I went to sleep, I checked our food supply and noticed we were running very low.

The next morning was Jess's birthday. I really didn't know what to get her since Daddy forbade us from leaving the house. I decided I would wake up at sunrise and go fishing so I could make Jess a fresh fish birthday dinner. I knew Daddy would be mad, but it was the least I could do for Jess. I took my fishing pole and one of Daddy's shotguns with me for protection. Daddy taught me to shoot when I was really little. He loved to take Jess and I hunting. It was really peaceful down by the lake and there weren't any walkers around. I caught three fish and went home. When I got back I saw Eli on the kitchen floor with a knife through his forehead. He had turned into a walker. Daddy was in Jess's bedroom holding a towel to her neck. That's when I knew she'd been bit. It didn't take me long to realize Daddy had been bit too, on the arm. Jess died five minutes later with Daddy and I crying over her. Daddy's bite wasn't as bad as Jess's but we knew what was coming.

Daddy told me to shoot him then and there but I couldn't do it. I wanted every last minute I could get with him. After a couple hours he got a really bad fever and I could tell he was in a lot of pain. I sat by him the whole time trying to keep him cool. He died a couple hours later. That night, I sat in the chair across from where Daddy and Jess had died, with my shotgun just staring at them. I didn't cry or anything. I was in too much shock.

Jess changed first. She sat up and started coming for me right away. I waited until her head was at the end of my barrel before I shot, same thing with Daddy. It never even crossed my mind to check if Eli had been bit and he was smart enough not to tell us. Ever since then I have been living here by myself. People come by every once in a while looking for help but they've all been bit. I don't have any other choice but to shoot them."

By the time Ari finished her story, the food was ready. She served Merle and sat down to eat. This fish was delicious. Merle scarfed it down. He didn't really know what to say to Ari. She had let him into her home after all that had happened to her and made him dinner. He wasn't very good at comforting people so he didn't really say much about her dad and Jess. He decided to change the topic.

"So do you just plan on staying here forever like this?"

"That was the plan at first, but I don't know how much longer I can stand it, not knowing what's going on out there, ya know? Plus, my mom and brother live in Columbia. I was gonna try and make my way up there. I just haven't gotten up the nerve to go alone. If Jess was here, it would be a lot easier."

"What makes you think your family is still alive?"

"I don't know but I don't really have any other hope. Plus, I know my brother. He wouldn't go down easy."

"Ya know, I don't really got anywhere to go and no one to find. I guess I could help you get to Columbia if you were afraid to go alone. It always helps to have someone watching your back and I am pretty handy."

Ari couldn't help but chuckle. It took Merle a moment to realize that handy probably wasn't the best word to use.

"I'm sorry, it's probably still a bitter subject. I didn't mean to laugh."

"Nah, you're alright. What do ya say?"

"I say let's leave in the morning."

The next morning Merle awoke to Ari shaking his shoulder at sunrise. He could tell she couldn't wait to get the heck out of dodge.


	11. Memories

Ari went fishing while Merle took a shower and packed his things up. She had shown him where all her daddy's hunting stuff was and put him in charge of packing what he thought would be useful. When Ari got back, they gathered all of their stuff and headed down the trail to where Merle had parked the truck. Ari wouldn't let him talk all the way to the car. She didn't want to risk any walkers hearing them.

Merle thought about his mama during the walk. When his daddy left and she began to drink a lot, Merle was always scared to go around her. His mama used to be such a beautiful woman. She was young, fit, and had a radiant smile. When she began to work long hours and get drunk when she came home, she started to change. Her smooth, bronzed skin turned to wrinkles and her luscious blonde hair started to gray. The worst part was she never smiled anymore. Merle missed seeing his mama happy.

One night about a year after his daddy left, she came home from work and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. Merle was surprised. She normally went straight for the alcohol. He waited on the couch for her to come out to see what had gotten into her. When she came out, Merle couldn't help but smile. It was his old mama again. She was wearing a sapphire blue dress and her hair had been brushed and styled. She had on makeup and jewelry. Best of all, she was smiling. Merle's neighbor Anne came over to watch the boys that night while their mama left with a really nice looking man. Merle liked him because he made his mama smile.

Merle stayed up in his room late that night waiting for his mama to get back, but she didn't come home. The next morning, he went into his mama's room to check if she was in bed, but it was empty and Anne was asleep on the couch. Anne made him breakfast and drove him to school. When he came back from school that afternoon, his grandma was there playing with Daryl. Merle knew his mama still hadn't come back and he asked his grandma when she would. His grandma told him she would be back soon.

Merle waited at the window all day for her but she never came back. His grandma spent three days at their house taking care of them. One day, when Merle came home from school, he found his grandma had packed up all of their stuff and loaded it into her car. She told the boys they were going to stay with her for a while until their mama got back. She told them she was on vacation because she needed a break from work. Merle wondered why his mama didn't tell him she was going and he wondered why she went with that man.

He didn't see his mama for months and he was starting to think she would never come back until she showed up at his grandma's house one day. Merle was so excited to see her but he quickly realized something was wrong. She wasn't being herself. She kept staring off into space and wouldn't answer when someone talked to her. When she got up to go the bathroom, Merle quietly followed her. She didn't close the door all the way and Merle peeked through the opening. He watched as his mama pulled a needle out of her purse, put some white stuff in, and gave herself a shot. Merle figured his mama was sick and she was giving herself medicine. He decided that's why she seemed so weird; she didn't feel very well. It wasn't until he was a teenager that Merle discovered what she was really doing. The boys never went back to their house and their mama would come and go every now and then. That's the way it stayed until Merle was old enough to move out.

It didn't take long to get to the truck. Ari didn't say one word until they were safely inside with the doors locked.

"So, ya know how to get there?" She asked.

"Ya, hopefully we won't hit any rush hour traffic though."

They both giggled.

"We should try to get some gas before we get outta town. I wanted to make a stop somewhere else too on the way. Maybe that's where I can try and find some gas if it's okay with you."

"You're call captain."

Merle started the car and headed towards Country Oaks Retirement Home.


	12. Living Nightmare

The retirement home parking lot was more or less a graveyard. It definitely wouldn't be easy to get in. Merle knew his mama wasn't in there but he couldn't ignore the small amount of hope he still had. He wouldn't let himself leave without checking again. Something told him his mama wouldn't have gotten on one of those buses without him. Merle could tell Ari didn't want to go in with him so he decided to park down the street, away from the walkers, and go by himself. He took his gun and plenty of ammo.

He had to take out about fifteen walkers to get to the door, which had been boarded up. He knocked vehemently.

"Hello, anyone in there? I ain't been bit."

Merle heard footsteps running over to the door. A woman peeked out through the blinds in the front window and motioned for him to go around the side of the building. The lady was waiting for him at the side door when he got there and she let him in.

"How ya doin'? I'm Merle Dixon and I came looking for mama. She was living here before things got bad. I came once but things were so chaotic I couldn't find her."

"There's only a few residents left here, most of them got evacuated to Atlanta when the building got overrun. Some of them wouldn't leave though and a couple of us nurses took them down into the basement to hide out. When things settled down, we came back up and have been living here since. Who you lookin' for?"

"Her name's Jane, Jane Massey."

"My Lord, Jane swore her son would come back for her. She should be in her room. She has been quite delirious lately though. Don't be surprised."

Merle didn't even hear the last two sentences the nurse said. He started running straight for his mama's room. When he got there she was sitting on her bed staring at the wall.

"Mama! I knew you'd be here."

His mama looked up at him with a blank stare.

"Come on Mama, let's get outta here. I came back to get you. I'm so glad you didn't go to Atlanta."

He still didn't get any response.

"Are you listening to me Mama? Come on, what are ya doing?"

He walked over to his mom, set his gun down on the nightstand, and shook her shoulders. She still wouldn't speak or move.

"I ain't gonna leave ya, now come on."

Finally Merle got a response.

"You didn't have no problem leaving me before. I don't see why you even came here. Get the hell outta my room before I call my nurse."

"What are you talking about? I never left you. I came here all the time to sit and talk with you. I came back here to get you before Daryl and I left for Atlanta but the place was being overrun and I couldn't find you. I thought you had been evacuated. Please, come on Mama."

"I ain't going with ya and my boys ain't going either."

"I am your boy Mama. What in the world are you talking about? Now come on."

"You bastard James, don't you lay a hand on my children or I'll put a bullet through your head."

Merle realized his mama thought he was his daddy. His heart sank.

"Mama, it's me Merle, your son."

"You always were a lyin' son-of-a-bitch James. Get out!"

His mama was furious and Merle was frustrated. He began to shake her again,

"Mama, look at me! I am Merle. I ain't Daddy. I don't know where Daddy is. I am your son. I came here three times a week to see you before the disease. Don't you recognize me?"

Without a word, his mama reached for the gun Merle had set down and put a bullet straight through his head. Merle didn't even have time to react.

The last thing he heard was, "I shoulda done that a long time ago bastard."

Merle snapped out of the cocaine daze he had fallen into. He looked over and saw the walkers still pushing on the door. He knew he would have to saw really fast.

**THE END**


End file.
